that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
