I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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