Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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