i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
