At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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