Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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