I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
