i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
