I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We have started to decorate penises.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
