Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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