I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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