I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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