He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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