I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
