We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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