Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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