Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
