ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I love having hate sex.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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