FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Found your dick twin last night
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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