It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
