he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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