My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
