AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
