How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You dont lie about slip and slides
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
