He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
