She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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