she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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