you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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