I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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