Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i think my cat just said my name.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize