I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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