oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
