after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
