Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
