U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
