Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My first STD was from a foam party
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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