I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
