Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
