just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I pour the whiskey from now on
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
