There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Michael Bay diarrhea
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
