Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
