elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
