I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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