Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize