she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
