drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
