so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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