I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
