How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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