I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
