I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
