her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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