One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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