sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
