i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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