Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
