I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
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