I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
When are your genitals available?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
