I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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