We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
