Whod you bang
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
