Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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