is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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