im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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