I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
