just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
