It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
