next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
