Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize