I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just come out here and I will go home with you...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so let's talk penis.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
