i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
