Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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