okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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