She even gives head with a lisp.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize