The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize